Why Pretend Play Matters for Language (Tea Parties Included)

By Julia Taylor, B.App.Sc. (Sp.Path.), M.Hlth.Sc., CPSP 6 min read

The tea isn't real, but the language development might be. Pretend play and language share the same underlying skill: using one thing to stand for another — a banana for a phone, a sound for an object. That's why symbolic play is one of the things professionals actually look at when assessing a toddler's communication (American Speech-Language-Hearing Association [ASHA], n.d.). Here's the honest evidence, and how to get more pretend into your day.

How pretend play unfolds

There's a developmental ladder: around 18 months, toddlers copy real household actions — sweeping, stirring, phone to ear — and the milestone checklists include simple pretend like feeding a doll or stuffed animal (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC], 2026b). By around two, play goes multi-step and multi-object: doll into the cart, lid onto the pot, and the beginnings of dress-up (CDC, 2026c).

Each rung invites new language: single action words at the copying stage ('stir', 'wash'), then sequences and little sentences as the stories grow ('teddy sleep now', 'more tea?').

What the evidence honestly says

Pretend play and language are clearly associated — children who do more of one tend to do more of the other. But careful reviews, notably Lillard and colleagues (2013), concluded the evidence doesn't prove pretend play by itself causes language gains; the shared symbolic ability, and especially the involved adult, may explain much of the link.

Practically, that's fine news: pretend play is still one of the richest stages for language interaction — emotions, sequences, social phrases, and vocabulary you'd never hit in daily routines ('the crocodile is a doctor now'). The adult playing alongside is the active ingredient, so your presence in the game is the point, not a bonus (ASHA, n.d.).

Starting pretend play (without a script)

Ways in, from easiest to fanciest:

Feed anything: one spoon, one teddy — ‘Teddy’s hungry! Mmm, yum.’ (CDC, 2026b).
Copy real life: toy versions of your actual routines — cooking, sweeping, washing. Toddlers pretend what they know.
Bathe or bed the doll: a whole routine of body parts, ‘wash’, ‘dry’, ‘night-night’ (CDC, 2026c).
Take a role and a turn: you be the customer, the patient, the passenger — then hand the role back.
Add one twist to their story — ‘uh-oh, the car is stuck!’ — and let them solve it.

Props that pull their weight

Simple beats elaborate: play food, tea sets, dolls, toy tools, dress-up hats. The toy library on this site has a whole pretend-play section with the Bronze/Silver/Gold words for each toy, and pretend-heavy word kits like the DESCRIBE-IT Kit for children ready to stretch. Dress-up clothes, per the CDC, can be as simple as your old shirt and a hat (CDC, 2026c).

The takeaway

Pretend play won't magically manufacture words on its own — but pretend play WITH YOU in it is a language-rich goldmine of actions, feelings, and little stories. Feed the teddy, take the role, add a twist, and narrate the whole beautiful nonsense.

Sources & further reading

American Speech-Language-Hearing Association. (n.d.). Late language emergence (Practice Portal). https://www.asha.org/practice-portal/clinical-topics/late-language-emergence/
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2026b). Milestones by 18 months. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-18mo.html
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2026c). Milestones by 2 years. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-2yr.html
Lillard, A. S., Lerner, M. D., Hopkins, E. J., Dore, R. A., Smith, E. D., & Palmquist, C. M. (2013). The impact of pretend play on children’s development: A review of the evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 1–34. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0029321

A friendly note (and the fine print)

This article is general educational information only. It is not speech therapy, therapeutic advice, an assessment, a diagnosis, or a substitute for individualized professional care, and reading it does not create a therapist–client relationship. Every child is different — if you have any concerns about your child’s speech, language, hearing or development, please consult your own certified speech-language pathologist, pediatrician or family health professional, who can advise you about your individual child. See when to talk to a professional for how to find one.

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